Parking ticket

To trust or not to trust, to lose control or not to lose control, that is the question. I guess the hard part of gaining new experiences is that you learn that there is absolutely no one except you and your immediate family that you can really lose your control with..it's as if you have to be on alert all the time..to check out stuff..becuase if not and if you accept whatever everyone says you may have to pay dearly for it. A very small scale example is the situtation that happened last night. I got to go to one of my friends house down town, if anyone has been in Toronto and downtown a while they would know that it's a different land over there;)cias all over..anyways I decided to park and one of my friends who was with me told me that she absolutely sure that we can park there and I without properly checking the conditions of the parking, accepted what she said. It's not about her or even the parking ticket, although since this was the first time it happend to me, I never, ever gotten a ticket, I feel it's the worst way of getting a ticket;), but it doesn't matter what I feel, the fact that I was careless and didn't double check what somone says was what really bothered me. So then this question came to my mind, that how is it that at work I will double check everything on my report before submitting them, but here I didn't. I guess I just wanted to not to worry about it. Just to accept that what someone is saying is true without thinking. I guess it's sort of like the idea of Messaya, that he will come and he will change the world and would creat peace and all that, its the idea that we hold on to make us feel better and basically not to take care of our actions now..its a bit avoiding to accept the responsibility. Oh one more thing, Responsibility..is such a huge word in my vocabulary. I guess if I could catagorize my feeling that night, here how it would be, frustrated, because I don't understand why the city of Toronto has to have million little parking signs which each one is explaining the one next to it!!!Disappointment, about how I wasn't alert and was careless and last but not least is the feeling of sympathy and pitiness toward my friend. I know if I was in her shoes I would probably get very upset since it was her idea to park there and that's why I tried to do my best to make her less upset. I guess the best thing that came out of it was to re-evaluate my protocol in life, my SOP (Standard Operation Procedure)if you like;). It just hit me..I guess all this ethics books, all religion books are SOPs for life!!!!and God would be the auditor to see how well we are operating;)!!

Candle In The Wind - Elton John

I never forget when I first heard this song. My family and I had recentely come to Canada and I heard that Princess Diana was killed in a car crash in France.. I never forget, Paeezeh and her family were at my house and I just turned on the TV, when I heard the news, it was in August. Although I didn't know much about Princess Diana but I learned about her through her biography. Later Elton John sang a song for her, that brought all of us to tears. I still love this song and his performance.

"Goodbye England's rose
May you ever grow in our hearts
You were the grace that placed itself
Where lives were torn apart
You called out to our country
And you whispered to those in pain
Now you belong to heaven
And the stars spell out your name
And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Never fading with the sunset
When the rain set in
And your footsteps will always fall here
Along England's greenest hills
Your candle's burned out long before
Your legend never willLoveliness we've lost
These empty days without your smile
This torch we'll always carry
For our nation's golden child
And even though we try
The truth brings us to tears
All our words cannot express
The joy you brought us through the years"

To my wonderful friends,
Just wanted to make your day:)

I just saw the engagment pictures of my beloved childhood friend Sahar, she looks amazing and so grown up:)I miss her alot..miss my talks with Muna alot as well..everyone is growing up so fast..atleast I get to see Muna once in a while..she is like water over fire:)my both great friends..I love you dearly.

I miss you

Yesterday for the longest time I got to go to CVG meeting. It's amazing that most of the problems each of the groups that I am involved with are having are more or less similar. Ofcourse CVG has been the biggest excutive group I have been part of and ofcourse with recognition of pharceutical industry. It's interesting how the answere of each question changes according to the age group, culture and professionalism of the group. How people deal with uneasy situations, how do they express their point of views, and how the dynamic of the group works..I missed them..I missed their professionalism..so I got reminded again..I missed Steve and talking to him..I used to be very shy around him, since he was much older and wiser. But this time it was much better..I like the way he gives advice to me..so hounest..I think I won't mind talking to him for hours..to see what he thinks of life...anyways he think I should stress out less and see the big picture!!;)I like talking to him because I feel I can find myself and know myself by doing that. He opens my eyes to what I think I see but its not really true...

The power of mind over you body and your surroundings is something that I was always interested to do some study and research on. But in this case I had to this on my own body. It's interesting that the meditational suggestions that people like Dr. Hollakoie, Psycolotherapist, give is more or less what I was practicing on...According to him you have to materialize your situation and actually see the change in it. In orther to change either yourself or whatever that bothers you. It's like as if you see the pain or if you see yourself in whatever position you want to be. It's amazing that since I was a kid I always visualized myself in a white labcoat running in a long hallway..and guess what, when I first started my new wonderful job, I got to wear those labcoats and I actually got to walk, sometimes run;)on a long hallway, it gets even more ineteresting, I even had the pager's voice in my imaginations, and guess what!!!we have some one paging people who need to respond to whatever is required of them.
That vision came true for me..in the past year I starting having another career vision of myself, that I hope I get to that. It's a secret for now;)I will let you know when I get there..but I think there areas that even you don't like to touch and get near to..atleast for me it's the emotional aspect of my life. I guess this fear of falling fairy tales always made me not think of it. I have heard brides who say, since childhood I have been waiting for this moment, this dress. They have visualized all the details of their future life as an item and also wedding. I guess at some point in my life I have to start thinking like that. Right now, it's a blank page in my mind. Nothing and no one has impressed and motivated me enough to think about my life with some one else!!!

Fly- Hilary Duff
Very interesting lyrics:)

"In a moment, everything can change,
Feel the wind on your shoulder,
For a minute, all the world can wait,
Let go of your yesterday.
Can you hear it calling?
Can you feel it in your soul?
Can you trust this longing?
And take control,Fly, open up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can shine,Forget about the reasons why you cant in life,
And start to try.Cause it's your time,Time to fly.
All your worries, leave them somewhere else,
Find a dream you can follow,
Reach for something, when there's nothing left,
And the world's feeling hollow.
And when you're down and feel alone,
And want to run away,
Trust yourself and don't give up,
You know you better than anyone else.
In a moment, everything can change."